Work/Life Balance ~ A Circus Act

 

Let’s face it, our work/life balance issues aren’t about too much life and not enough work. That wouldn’t be a problem for most people and this would be an article about hanging out at the beach so long that I got dehydrated! Work/life balance is totally about too much work and not enough beach-dehydration time.

For women, juggling the expectations of your personal life with that of your job is no less than acrobatics. Just like the sport, it’s a full-body activity, requiring balance, control and agility. Without even realizing it, you have become a lion tamer, human cannon ball and a magician, by keeping up with critical issues, keeping yourself moving at an extremely fast pace and creating the illusion of handling everything perfectly.

“Look, five balls in one hand, throw them into the air and, “ta-da”, ten completed assignments land skillfully and organized in the other hand.”

But wait, take a closer look and you’ll see the barely visible rope, tape and glue holding everything together. While the act was very entertaining, it was just that, an act. Yes, you have become a skillful magician creating illusions of the impossible. But I hope that you don’t believe your own press. It was “just an act” after all, and some of what you attempted to do was done poorly, partially or not at all. So, why are you pretending that it’s all getting done?

If you have children, I’m sure that you have missed an event or important commitment, and if you’re married, not being home to keep the relationship bonded has surely had an effect. Your house is probably in total disarray and your family is lost in the chaos, not a pretty sight! Also, arguments may have arose with your spouse, causing you to feel misunderstood and lonley. The few people who do understand jump ship as soon as this life imbalance directly impacts them.

At work, certainly the major work is being done, but you may have a backlog of return phone calls, a slew of missed meetings and a host of other missteps that litter the path behind.

Finally, after all is said and done, you are left stressed out with little to no support from loved ones and a list of things to do that would scare the President.

Been there, done that!

Interestingly enough, a lot of managers perceive you to be inefficient if you have to work so much. Also, it’s better to ask for help and not work the hours so that he or she can see that you really do need the help. As long as you continue to do the work, they will never feel the pain of the work not getting done.  Remember, most change comes out of a pain that you need to address. Why do people quit smoking, diet, etc.? It’s because they’re uncomfortable with their current situation (pain) and are compelled to change. So, your manager needs to feel the pain!

If you think that you have to put in extra hours at work, it would be in your best interest to look at what is realty going on: The underlying issues that are making you feel like you have to work the hours. For many years I worked an extreme amount of hours and my work/life balance looked more like a sea-saw with my life firmly on the ground, than a balanced scale.  It wasn’t until I left that job and gave myself some down time that I realized why I was working so hard. I discovered that I was running from loneliness. At that time, my husband worked nights, so when I went home, I was alone. So staying at work late became the way that I dealt with it. It would have been better for me to go out with friends or something like that, which would have increased my “life” time, but I just worked and worked.

So, if you look deeper within to see what’s really going on, you may find that you are running from something too. Give yourself some time and why not try meditating on you. It’s time to retire the magic act and embrace the life that God gave you. Love yourself enough to explore what is really going on with you. Once you do that, you will catch a glimpse of the life that you have left behind and hopefully be inspired to press forward.  

Check out this great work/life balance calculator from CNN.com, which will help you to see a visual of how you are spending your time.  These days, my chart is showing a lot more leisure time .

Tug of War

Handling decisions that conflict with your religious beliefs can be a real challenge for corporate managers. Often times it’s a real rope tug between your values and the choices on the table. Many of my Christian colleagues have expressed that they have had many times when their values made decision-making a more difficult and thoughtful process.  

When this happens, you may feel that your job is at risk and the conflict becomes even more stressful. Knowing what the right decision is usually isn’t the hard part. Having the courage to stand behind that decision, even if your job is at risk, is where the challenge lies. This is when your faith has to be greater than your fear (no small thing).

I have had to make a few really “tug of war” decisions in my career. One of the hardest decisions involved the termination of four of my most valuable employees all at once.  I labored with the decision and couldn’t sleep for days.  I prayed and looked at all of the options relentlessly. To make matters worse, the perception that this would create with my boss was not going to be good.  To help me with the decision, I studied scriptures, called on friends in the faith for guidance, and prayed, prayed, prayed. 

In the end, I did release all of them and lost a few friendships in the process, but I just couldn’t find any other acceptable option. This was a time that I really had to allow my faith lead the way! 

Do you have any experiences that you would like to share? Your comments would be appreciated and could be of help to some of my readers.

Some of the resources that I use are:

Christian Leadership Alliance
http://www.christianleadershipalliance.com/

Servant Leadership 
By Robert K. Greenleaf, Larry C. Spears

Christian Leadership World
The Tea Trust – http://www.teal.org.uk/

Corporate Culture, the “Burbs” or the “Ghetto”?

How do you feel about your work environment?  Is the corporate culture one that fits your values and work ethics? 

You may be at ABC Company in a dark windowless space with old, mismatched furniture.  In this environment, you may find that many people hate their jobs and show it everyday. Your senior managers may not show any concern for the employees and everyone is looking out for himself or herself.  

Or, you may be in at XYZ Company, which is bright and open, with coordinated furniture and your senior managers have made sure that the benefits programs reflects their desire to reward employees.  In this environment, employees may be very competitive and “counting ceiling tiles” may be the norm.    

A corporation is a community with it’s own social, legal and economic values and pressures which dictate it’s overall culture.  We have all stumbled into great corporate cultures, but many of us are working in a corporate culture that, given the choice, we would choose something different. 

Do you work in the “Burbs” or the “Ghetto”? 

Some corporations, like ABC Company, are really like a “Ghetto” where you find yourself at a disadvantage due to a mismatch in your values and beliefs verses that of the mainstream corporate culture.

My experience in this environment was to bring a sense of strength and integrity that allowed my team to develop pride about the organization and a place of security from the cultural pressures through open communication, clear expectations and rewards. With my colleagues, this provided me with the reputation of being a strategic partner who provided consistent and reliable information and support. 

If you find yourself at XYZ Company, which I call the “Burbs”, you have a different set of issues and cultural dynamics.  Snobbery and intense competition are a few of the challenges that I have found in this corporate environment.  

Some of the ways that I was able to manage through this culture was to focus on being authentic. Focusing on honesty and collaboration had a diffusing effect and allowed my team to break away from the overarching “Burbs” culture and establish a subculture that thrived.  It also allowed me to work with my colleagues in a non-competitive way, which provided me with positive working relationships across the company.

You can get information about a corporation’s culture by researching the company on the internet, looking at their website, calling on some of the employees who are currently working there and many other ways.

Today there are many types of corporate cultures out there.  I have identified two cultures that exist in corporate and some of the ways that I survived them.  Hopefully, I have provided some strategies to help you as well. 

Let me know how you feel about your culture and what you are doing to fit in.  What name would you use to describe your culture?